Thursday, December 29, 2011

Perfection


The above image of Cory Everson is how up until the past few years I've always judged my body in comparison. I used to swear I'd kill myself if I ever weighted over 130 lbs. Well, I guess it's time for me to pull out my gun and start shooting. 

I've always had body image issues, so it's hard to let myself believe I've let myself get into the shape of lack of that I am in now. Much like Courtney in my Ring Dreams series, I used to hold myself to an extreme level of what I thought to be fit. I made fun of fat people and belittled people's unhealthy food choices when out shopping. I hated their lack of willpower and laziness. 

How did I become on of the people? Life, I guess. First there was an abusive relationship that shattered my self esteem. I wasn't going to wrestling to see the boys anymore so I had no reason to worry about fitting into the sexy little form fitting outfits I used to wear. Stan wasn't around to ride me about my body fat percentage. My first love wasn't there to remind me he didn't do fat chicks. I didn't have any of the boys telling me how hot I looked to keep me busting my ass in the gym. It got to where I didn't want to be looked at. I didn't want to be sexually objectified. 

When the pounds started piling on, I didn't have anyone to call me out on it. The guy I was seeing outside the relationship with my psycho ex didn't care if I put on a few pounds. He admitted he thought I had looked intimidating with "all those muscles". I try to fool myself into I'm okay with the way my body is now. It's not working. I'm not depressed anymore. I'm on thyroid medication that I take every morning. I still follow a supplement routine to keep myself dosed up with Vitamin D3, all the Bs, Calcium, and a raw multi-vitamin every day. 

My excuses? I can't go to the gym when I get off work because I have to go home to walk my dog. I can't go to the gym before work because I already get up at six am to walk Harry and get myself to work an hour early to avoid rush hour traffic and sneak in some extra writing time. I write on my lunch break, I write on my bathroom breaks. I keep my MacBook sitting on my work desk ready to sneak in as many words as possible. 

I've gotten slack about feeding myself a healthy breakfast. I don't eat at lunch because I am writing. Then I get home and after I walk Harry I plop down on the couch and eat away all my frustrations. I'm an emotional eater. I eat when I'm happy. When I'm sad. When I'm mad. When I'm bored. When I'm hurting. I eat for every occasion. When I was really really fit instead of eating I fucked wrestlers to meet that emotional need. Now I just eat and eat and eat.

It's not like I don't know what I need to do. I am a certified personal trainer and aerobics instructor. I've worked in the fitness industry. I've competed in the fitness industry. I've lived for weeks on egg whites, tuna and protein shakes and gotten on stage in a bikini to prove I was fit. I know my way around a fucking gym!

My problem is I just can't seem to find time to get my ever expanding ass into the gym and put in the time on the weights and with the cardio. Fitness is 75% eating habits. I freaking know that. I know what I should and shouldn't be eating. When I competed I never weighed an ounce over 120 lbs. I'm 5'7" so by today's competition standards I would have been considered under weight. Even then, I would have done better in competitions with five extra lbs of muscle. 

My goal for 2012 is to take some me time and drop at least 30 lbs. I'll never again look like a fitness model. I can accept that. How can I do this? I don't really know.

Most of all I need someone to hold me accountable.

I have to get back into the frame of mind that I look at food as fuel.

I have to find other outlets for emotional release. 

Maybe I can train myself to write instead of to eat. 

I have to find some way to handle my harmful addictions and harness them into something positive.

Fitness is a journey, never a destination.

I didn't put on these 30 of so pounds overnight and I know it's going to be hard to make them go away.

There you have it. I'm putting this out there for the whole world to see. 

I'm holding myself accountable for my own health and well being.

I can do this...

I believe in me!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Ring Dreams Series is now in Print!

My Ring Dreams series is now available in print editions.

You can purchase autographed copies of both Headlocks & Hexes and Desire together for $25 with free shipping.


Autographed copies of both books are available individually for $15 with free shipping.






Ring Dreams


I will email you before the order is processed to confirm the inscription and shipping address. Please allow two weeks for delivery.

Thanks!

Jezebel Jorge

Saturday, December 3, 2011

12 Days of Christmas Blog Hop Update

Stockings & Suspenders is going to be released by Evernight Publishing on December 9th with the full reveal of our hot cover.

The more sites you visit and comment on, the greater your chances of winning some cool prizes from Evernight and various authors who are adding their own special gifts.

Thanks for all the comments on the previous blog. It's really nice to know that people are looking forward to reading my story. I will be announcing my winners and proudly displaying the Stockings & Suspenders cover here on the official release day.

Here are all the links for all the author websites:

London St. John - The Proposal
CR Moss - Chasing Miss Kringle
Jezebel Jorge - Snow Angel
Lila Shaw - Naughty Nice
Seleste Delaney - Making The Naughty List
Carolyn Rosewood - A Very Naughty Christmas
Xondra Day - Promises
Kelly Yeakle - Santa's Little Helper
Alaska Angelini - Mistletoe Masquerade
Lee Ann Sontheimer Murphy - Letter to Santa

I also need to give a shout out to our awesome editor - Emma Shortt
She was a pleasure to work with and I know her input greatly improved my story.

In the week leading up to our big release I'd like to offer everyone a couple of my short stories as free reads from Smashwords. 


For Wanton use coupon code ME45W. 


For Wicked use coupon code YX82E.

I've also got the .99 cent specials coupon codes for
 Headlocks & Hexes and Desire listed on the previous blog.


Thursday, December 1, 2011

Stockings & Suspenders


Welcome to day three of Evernight Publishing's Blog Hop for the upcoming release of our Stockings & Suspenders Holiday Anthology. You can check out the Evernight Blog for all the juicy details of of our Twelve Days of Christmas.

As the temperature drops, we've all found naughty and delicious ways to warm up for the holidays.

A boss with a proposal to make her sweat, a promise from an Italian assistant, a cabin in the middle of nowhere with two men to cater to her every desire, a special surprise for a lonely soldier...

All of these encounters and more from ten talented authors. Get ready for some holiday loving... Evernight style!

I'm honored to have my story Snow Angel included in this hot, hot, hot anthology. Best selling author, Minerva Madison, might have a big time book deal, but she's lost her muse. At least until a hunky construction worker comes to her rescue. Brian saves her from spending Christmas Eve stuck on the side of the road in an unexpected snow storm. Their night of uninhibited passion is exactly what she needs to get all her creative juices flowing.

Here's a tiny tease from Snow Angel:

     Minerva in the Jacuzzi. Naked in the Jacuzzi?
     Brian almost spilt the mugs of hot chocolate when he found her there.
     She took her mug from him with a devious smile. “Come on in, the water is just right.”
     Yeah, she was naked alright and there weren't nearly enough bubbles to hide the swell of her breasts. Not that he minded the view. He just hadn't expected her to take such a bold first move.
     He watched her lapping at the whipping cream, his dick getting tighter in his jeans at every slip of her tongue. Never in his wildest dreams had he imagined spending Christmas Eve with a hot blond in his Jacuzzi. Too bad he hadn't added condoms to that last minute shopping list.

     “Well, are you going to join me or not. I promise I won't bite. Well, unless you want me to.”



To thank everyone for stopping by today I'm going to give away ebook copies of the first two books in my Ring Dreams series, Headlocks & Hexes and Desire. All you have to do to qualify is leave a comment with your email and follow me on Twitter @witchlitchick or friend me on Facebook.

I'm also offering coupon codes good thru our December 9th release day to get my two books for only .99 cents each from Smashwords. You can pick your format to work with any type of ebook reader.

Headlocks & Hexes - coupon code - EM67W

Desire - coupon code - VW74W

The more blogs you comment on the greater your chances of winning some awesome prizes from Evernight including free downloads of Stockings & Suspenders and gift cards.

To celebrate Day Four please stop by Lila Shaw's blog tomorrow to see a little more of our cover and learn some juicy tidbits about her story.