Monday, September 26, 2011

Evernight's Big Birthday Bash

To celebrate their first anniversary Evernight is partying all week.

Evernight Publishing will choose one commenter from EACH participating blog to win a $5.00 Gift Certificate. In addition, Evernight will choose three separate commenters from ANY of the blogs to win one of three grand prizes:

A new Kindle e-reader
$50.00 U.S. (gifted via PayPal)
$40.00 Evernight Gift Certificate.

**To be entered in the grand prize drawings you must FOLLOW and COMMENT on the Evernight Publishing blog**

To enter just comment with your email. The more blogs you comment on the greater your chances of winning!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Mother's Little Helper

Just when the Cymbalta was finally long gone from my system and I thought I was getting by okay... BAM... I have a meltdown. And so begins another battle in my on and off again antidepressants aghast.

I take the happy pills and the little things don't bother me. People don't irritate me nearly as bad. I put more words on the page. But I don't feel. I'm numb. I can't have an orgasm. I can't relate to my characters. It severely deters my channeling abilities.

I don't take the antidepressants and I get sluggish and tired. I have crying fits and crazy thoughts. I might not have as high of word counts, but the words I'm writing are better. My characters talk to me. My spirit guides scream at me. I'm able to channel and communicate with those who have passed.

There are times when Odessa's beloved whispers in my ear that I need to take the meds. That Odessa needed her meds. Look at what happened to her when she didn't take them.

Odessa screams back a big fat fuck you!

When we are in sync, Odessa wraps me in the orange protective light. She sits at my office door playing with her snakes. She doesn't let anyone "fuck with her human". That is, when I remember to take a deep breath. Calm down and let her do her shit.

She assures me she's not going anywhere. We've still got her stories to tell. Goddess knows, I still need her watching my back, front and every other angle. She's trying to make things right from her previous existence. I understand this. She understands me.

Not having Odessa in my life scares the crap out of me. I need her as much as she needs me to tell her story. To right the wrongs. To tell expose the truth of her beloved's death. He didn't kill himself. I know this. Odessa knows this. The whole world is going to know this.

I like talking to my ghostly friends. I don't get any negative spirits because Odessa mans the gateway with an ironclad fist. No one escapes her wrath. No one comes through that she doesn't want to speak with me.

So in order to keep this gift I guess I'll just have to learn to deal with the occasional crying jag. I'll take more naps. I'll be more careful about downing the vitamin D3s and Bs on schedule and drinking enough water. I'll accept that some days I just have to give into the darkness and wallow in misery.

I won't give her up.

No way! No how!

Monday, September 5, 2011


During last Thursday night's meditation session with Krista Kaine we focused on what we would do if we never had to worry about money again. If you could wake up in the morning and do anything you wanted. What would bring you joy? What's your passion?

I instantly saw myself playing in my fenced in yard with my rescued Rottweilers. Black dogs are the last to be adopted and the first to be put down at shelters all over the country. Especially those stuck with being labeled a bully breed. I love my Harry dog more than anything, but Ruthie, the Rottie mix, posing behind Harry was a dog that stole my heart and showed me how intelligent, loyal, and protective a so-called bully breed can be.

While I was making my dog sitting rounds this weekend my passion crystalized. My goal is to be able to rescue the dogs no one wants and then pair them with women and young girls who have survived domestic abuse, rape or any type of sexual battery or assault. I choose to use the word survivor because I hate the word victim. 

I am a survivor of domestic abuse and couldn't have done it without the love of both Harry and Ruthie. There were many mornings when Harry was my only reason for getting out of bed. I like to say that I didn't rescue him, he rescued me. Harry had a rough time before coming into my life. When I adopted him in 2006 he was estimated to be 2 1/2 years old and weighted only 45 lbs. due to a bad case of worms. We won't mention how much he weights now, other than to say his Great Pyrenees side came out when he got healthy. 

He might look like a sweet and innocent Golden Retriever, but he had a lot of socialization issues when we first met. He hates most men, kids and other dogs. He is furiously over protective of me. No one he doesn't know gets in our house or comes close to me when we go for a walk. The only time we've ever spent a night apart was when I was hospitalized with colitis. 

When I first left my horrible domestic situation Harry slept by the door every night until he decided we were safe. I know he would die trying to defend me and I would do the same for him.

A dog loves you unconditionally and every woman needs to be able to experience that kind of love and devotion. No one bothers you when you're walking a Rottweiler. A so-called bully breed can give a former victim a peace of mind and a reason to strive for a better life.

I want to be able to rescue and socialize the dogs and then help them find deserving homes where they will be loved and taken care of like they deserve. I'd like to be able to pay for the spaying, neutering, and medical care. Help a deserving woman pay a pet deposit for a new apartment, supply food and flea and tick treatment, and regular medical care for the dogs. 

Even if the woman wasn't yet in a situation where she could take a dog home with her, I'd like to offer her a place to come escape for a couple of hours. Just sit back and pet one of the dogs, play with them in the yard, or take one of the fur babies on a stress relieving walk. 

I want to be able to provide a safe haven for the women and the dogs where they can help each other to have better lives.

That is my passion.

What is yours?