Thursday, June 23, 2011

Silence Hides Violence

I'll never forget that now infamous Monday. My psycho ex called me at work and asked if I'd see The Wrestling Observer website. I hadn't, so he told me to go look at it and call him back. That is how I learned of the deaths of Nancy, Daniel and Chris Benoit.

Instead of calling him, I called a mutual friend of mine and Nancy's hoping and praying it was all some kind of stupid work. He answered on the first ring, something he NEVER does, and his first words were "He killed them." 
Having never been fond of Nancy's first husband, my response was, "Kevin killed them?"

He told me what happened and warned me not to watch RAW that night. Then we just held onto our cell phones and cried together. Much like we did when he called to tell me about Eddie Gilbert's untimely death many years before.

Driving home from work I felt a tightness in my throat and knew that he'd strangled her before this information was released to the public. I was off work the next three days and it was all a fog of news reports and disbelief.

Nancy saved my life by getting me out of the exact same situation of dealing with someone with post concussion syndrome. Not that it excuses Chris' actions, but he didn't know what he was doing when he killed Nancy in the midst of a PCS blackout. If you've never experienced this firsthand there is no way to accurately describe how terrifying it can be.

I spent most of 2008 in therapy after being diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome from what I'd endured with the psycho ex and Survivor's Guilt from wishing it had been me instead of Nancy who died.

Part of my therapy was to make a vow to Nancy that my voice would be ours in speaking out against domestic violence. I encourage anyone in a mentally or physically abusive relationship to seek help. You can do a Google search for assistance in your area or email me and I will try to find a solution for you.

Don't kid yourself, it will happen again. It's not going to get better. Get out and save yourself. That same friend I cried with told me something that pretty much changed my life - The only person you have to be accountable for is yourself!

If you know someone who might be dealing with a domestic issue encourage them to seek help. Offer them a place to stay or just some quiet time to talk. 

Do it for Nancy, or better yet, do it for yourself!

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