Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Ring Rats


ring rat (plural ring rats)
  1. (professional wrestling, slang) A promiscuous person, often a young female, who attends professional wrestling events primarily to seek sexual liaisons with wrestlers and other performers.

[edit]Derived terms

My definition - a person who goes to wrestling matches with the intention of having some type of sexual interaction with one of the performers. 

Although it's only Dylan that Rowan is interested in, that would classify her as a ring rat.

Some people find the term Ring Rat to be offensive. It doesn't bother me in the least. In fact, that billing seems to most irritate the girls who just couldn't cut it with being able to get banged by their favorite stars. The people who usually use this word as a slur or an attempted insult most likely got turned down by one of the boys. It always kills me to see the fat chicks screaming - "I'm not a rat. How dare they call me a rat." Honey, you're not a rat because none of the guys would do you... plain and simple.

I'll be the first to admit that back in the day I was one of the NWA's Finest. This was a term coined by the legendary Ric Flair to describe first class groupies. Yes, the boys did and probably still do rate them. It's kinda the same system as how the tours or shows used to be referred to as A, B, or C depending on the size of the venue and the crowd attendance. Well, more like opposite since a big arena with all the stars was an A show. A C level rat would most likely be much larger in girth and less attractive than a girl pulling an A level rating. 

If you were one of the NWA's Finest you got comped into shows. There was always a ticket waiting for you at the box office or you walked in the back door on the arm of your guy and were given a chair in the back away from the other fans. You got your hotel room covered, gas put in your car, and dinner or breakfast as part of the deal. Basically you had your pick of the entire locker room as to who you would be spending your evening with.

If you were a B - you got guys lower on the card. Occasionally getting comped or working a gimmick table was part of the deal. They gave the guys rides to and from the airport. Things of that nature.

C level chicks got to give blow jobs when there was nothing better available. They were the ones who bought the guys presents, ran errands for them, put gas in their cars, bought their food, paid for the boys hotel rooms, etc. I think you get the picture.

I'm not going to lie. It was a huge turn on to see a guy on TV and say - "I like". Then you go to the show, put a feeler out to see if you meet his standards, and bam the next thing you know he's fucking your brains out later that evening. Been there, done that, have the tee shirt. Well, I'd have the shirt if they made one. I can honestly say that I got every wrestler I ever pursued. It took me 6 months to finally get a certain someone, but he made it a game, giving me little teases and always stringing me along until we did the deed. Then after a few times of marking out for him I decided I still liked his manager better. Not that it didn't stop us from becoming friends and fuck buddies right up until he married.

I never had a one night stand with any of the boys. They always came back for more. In fact I'm still friends and keep in touch with the very first wrestler I ever slept with. He was my first love and will always have a special place in my heart. 

Things are very different now from the way they used to be back in the glory days of being a ring rat. With the territories you actually got to know the boys as people. They ran the same towns on a schedule to where it was easy to see a show at least once a week. Now, it would be a lot harder to get close to any of the guys in the WWE. Maybe not so much with TNA since they tape in the same place, but I wouldn't know because those days are way behind me.

This was way before the internet, Facebook, MySpace, cell phones and text messaging. I know it makes me think how much easier it would have been to have those things back in the day. A text would have been a lot for discrete than having to wait out back or have a security guard or ref passing information back and forth. But I guess it would also be a lot easier to slip up and get caught.

Here's a really bad example of how not to do things - The Kip Saga. All I'm gonna say is that crazy chick gives ring rats everywhere a very bad name.

My one ratting regret might be that I turned down two different rides on Space Mountain when it was still the ride with the longest lines in the whole park. But other than that, I am what I am and I wouldn't be the person I was today if I hadn't led the life I did. It also gave me all that great material for my Ring Dreams series. Let's just say the basics of my erotic short story published through Xcite really happened with the previously mentioned 6 month chaser in the real life starring role. 

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